Well friends, I might as well admit it. I did not get into grad school this time. As sad as I thought I would be at this news, I had a rather fortunate method which informed me of my declining (well, technically I'm on the waiting list... but it won't happen). I thought I may share this with you, so it may bring you to an understanding of why I really am ok with it.
I'll take you to last Friday afternoon. I hadn't heard back yet from this school and I was somewhat curious as to my admission status (ok, I was going bonkers waiting to find out). So, I went ahead and called the school. Being tired of waiting, I left a polite, yet succinct voice mail. Five minutes later I got a call back. Apparently there had been some mailing error, and two of the letters came back with "return to sender". The individual on the phone then informed me of my placement on the waiting list. Way back on the waiting list. Before I can say a word, I am then subjected to a 26 minute onslaught of crazy. During the deluge of weird metaphors and explanations (I was compared to a pile of m&m's and blobs of clay) I had a personal epiphany. There was no way in heck I was going to this school. Yes, I was told how my "energy was not in sync with their program" and how I needed to "continue my spiritual journey to new depths". I was told they do not chose students off of merit, but who they think they feel has the best spiritual connection to their program. They just didn't like my incorporeal energy and my m&m color. Tender Mercies.
While I stayed composed on the phone (it wasn't too hard, I only had to say 4 words in 26 minutes) I thought I would feel the rush of sad when I hung up. Nope. Just overwhelming relief. If I hadn't been exposed to almost a straight half-hour of insanity, I probably would have been very, very disappointed. This was right though. Yeah, I really didn't mesh well with their program. I want to go somewhere where what I have accomplished is respected and where that respect could be mutually shown. It shouldn't require me to defend my (too normal) personality or to be judged because of the religious implications of the school I attended.
So, where does my "spiritual journey" go now? I had put off taking the GRE for too long to make the deadlines for other schools last year. Oh well, the GRE is done now. There is next year. As for where I live, I'll do whatever. Tuscon? San Antonio? West Virginia? I'll be good where ever is just around the river bend. I just need to consult with Grandmother Willow and see where my energies are most in sync.
(I'm really not disappointed)