Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Pros and Cons of Being a Lady

I was adorable
Is it more difficult to be a girl or a guy? Obviously as I am of the female persuasion, I view things from that perspective. But while I have never been a man, I know some of what you go through. We'll start with you.

Man Pros

- A morning routine that can take less than 10 minutes.
- No need to blow dry, straighten, and then curl your hair.
- Split ends? Do you even know what those are?
- Metabolism.
- Rugged man smell.
- Overall less gossiping.
- At family get togethers, can avoid helping in the kitchen and just watch/play a game.
-  Less crying.
- No one thinks you're crazy for jogging around your neighborhood at 9pm alone.
- Outfit planning for church involves choosing between the red tie and the blue tie.
- Spacial skills.
- You can be pope.
- Don't have to worry about getting puffy every 4 weeks. And the hormonal roller coaster. And everything else.
- Weird skin day? Grow a beard. (Unless you're going to BYU...)
- Ability to do manly awesome things like chop wood.
- Can wear comfortable clothes pretty much all the time. With fewer layers.
- Don't have to be afraid to be alone in your own house.
- People believe you when you say you like watching sports.
- You don't have to wonder how you'll have both a family and a career.
- Fewer cases of bunions.

Everyone's got to have an ambiguous gender photo

Lady Pros

- We don't even need to open our own doors. But we can if we want to. That's pretty neat.
- We're allowed to smell like vanilla rain blossoms.
- Weird skin day? Hello concealer.
- We're generally given more leeway. Tears can accomplish so much.
- Our hair may take forever, but it is always there to play with when we get bored.
- We're allowed to giggle.
- We can paint our nails all sorts of awesome colors.
- We're pretty much allowed to wear whatever we want. Giant comfy man shirt? Sure.
- Stressed? Go shopping.
- We can make babies.
- Picking outfits can actually be fun, given enough time and resources.
- Makeup has done wonders for us, ladies. Let's be honest with ourselves.
- We're allowed to secretly like Justin Beiber.
- No matter what's going on in our life, one look at a baby animal, and we're back.
- It doesn't sound as creepy when we talk about our celebrity crushes.
- People occasionally underestimate our intelligence, giving us perpetual opportunities to prove them wrong.

I'm sure I've offended someone with my sweeping generalizations. I'm sorry (*cute girly giggle*).

 (I'm also not that vapid, I promise.)

This weekend, my roommate and I heard what we thought was someone in our garage. Before I opened the garage, my roommate thought it would be smarter to have someone else (a guy) there in case there was a scary murderer in there. It's moments like this that make us feel vulnerable, which stinks. We're just lucky we had people we could call. If you're a guy, and awesome, thank you for being awesome. Being a lady can be hard.