Well, I have to admit, this has not been my favorite month ever. Believe me, I haven't been wronged in any way. Except maybe by the state of Nevada. I am personally averse to putting too much of my personal life on the internet for everyone to see. I'm not going to post this link anywhere, so hopefully not too many of you are going to stumble upon it. I'm mostly just writing this for myself.
I'm just going to come right out and say it. Things are tough. I get by though, cause they are never exactly too bad. I'm honestly just a little scared. Again.
I'm scared for my mom, that news this week was very... well, scary. She'll be ok for now, but it is just a reminder of how you should never take the people in your life for granted. She lost her mother at age 55, and it was a cold splash of water to remind me.
It has been tempting to enact my 25 year plan early and just preemptively move into a cabin in the middle of the woods and live in harmony with the local woodland creatures and my 50 cats. For now though, I've just kept my game face on. It takes every fiber of my inner being to not give up, but I'm not, at least yet. I love those around me. I love everyone who has stepped up, mostly unconsciously, at a time when I need them badly. Scrolling back to last year, anyone (even complete strangers, I'm realizing uncomfortably) can know that I've been through some rough times. I sure hope I didn't do anything to bring it on myself.
I know I'm not as cheery as others. I do my best. I don't feel like being fake, so forgive my occasional ambivalence. I know things will become better again. I got over the knowledge I would have a permanent disability, all because of a pallet of sod. I'll get over this too. Even if it takes me beating a bunch of 8 year-olds at laser tag. We'll get there. Pain dulls and I'll have moved on before I knew it. For now, if you happen to read this, and then see me, I really wouldn't mind a hug.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Here in Provo, winter is finally upon us. At least for this week. For some, especially those who love all things warm, bright, and sunny, this season is not the happiest. Life's challenges, such as getting a bad haircut, getting a B+ on a test, breaking a hip, having your car break down, getting a cold, being dumped, having your goldfish die, having a roommate suddenly develop an affinity for opera, or burning your toast can seem so much harder when it is cold and/or dreary outside. Never fear! There are ways to feel happy again.
(note: I, myself, never experience negative emotions. I have a super-human ability to stay positive no matter what. I have never personally been sad, I have only heard descriptions of it)
Stare longingly into a picture of Hawaii, or some other tropical paradise. The longer you gaze into the warm and wonderful landscape, the more you'll forget you're actually living in the Rockies (or some other cold, sad place you may currently be). For a full effect, take a hair dryer set on low, and direct it towards your face. Is that a tropical breeze you're feeling?
Bake. I have never seen anyone bake brownies with a frown. If you're only a little sad, bake something little for yourself. If you need to take it up a notch, I recommend baking for other people. Not only do you have the warm fuzzies from knowing you did something to brighten up someone else's day, but you get to go out socializing. Which for most of us, makes up happy. If you're feeling more anti-social or thrill-seeking, try the classic door bell ditch anonymous baked goods drop. Trust me.
Watch this. I dare you to stay sad.
Type "cute animals" into youtube. When you finally come to, several hours and dozens of videos later, you won't even remember why you were distressed in the first place. You will only have images of adorable baby animals swimming around your consciousness for days, not allowing room for anything even slightly depressing. (warning: unless you accidentally stumble upon that awful sarah mclachlan animal abuse commercial. that may bring you right back.)
Watch a few Mormon Messages. Ok, I'm being serious. Even though I assume the majority of my readers are LDS, if you aren't or even if you are not even particularly religious, these amazing videos can have an impact on everyone. They not only reinforce specific, wonderful truths, but they offer very good perspectives. Especially videos like the one featuring Stephanie Nielson (if you haven't seen it, watch it!). No matter if our problems are life-altering or only cause temporary downness, we can always maintain a good attitude. It really is ok to feel occasionally sad, as long as we do not become so absorbed in our own wallowing that we forget those around us. Of course none of us are perfect, but these messages can help give something to strive to be.
Monday, January 2, 2012
1. The cinematic masterpiece Thor was left wide open for a sequel. And until that glorious day arrives, we at least have the Avengers coming up this year. If fate really works our way, we'll get 2 more hours of the Green Lantern.
2. The construction project on the 15 will be done!! Meaning we'll be able to drive construction-free for at least 36 hours, until it starts again.
3. Celebrity Wife Swap with Gary Busey premiers this Tuesday, making all of us feel better about our own lives.
4. Someone will be elected president this year. Meaning we won't have to endure a long set of meaningless/hilarious primary debates for at least 3 more years. Plus there's still time for The Donald to jump into the race as an independent. We can only pray.
5. Worst case scenario: the world ends. We can only go up from there!