Monday, July 21, 2014

On Arby's and Regret.

Friends, regret is one of the strongest emotions we can experience. I have been meaning to relate this experience for several weeks, but haven't gotten around to it. Before you judge me, understand my position. I was in the midst of studying for finals when suddenly my stomach started growling. With a ravenous fury, I knew I needed food, and I needed it now. I dashed downstairs and all I had in my cupboard were the remnants of the clearance Easter candy from Walgreens. Which I did eat. However, I still needed more. I suddenly craved curly fries with a vengeance and could only think of one place from whence to get some. Arby's.

So, I hopped in my car and sped off in search of that ridiculous Pharrell-hat restaurant. I pulled into the drive thru, and there was a picture of an Arby's roast melt staring tantalizingly at me. That temptress somehow put in me in a hunger-trance and I found myself ordering not one, but two. Once I pulled away from the pick-up window, I instantly wondered what I had done. I knew I had made a mistake, but it was too late. I had to follow through. That Bathsheba of a sandwich called to me from the bag, and I found myself eating it while still on the road home. Half a sandwich in, I knew this would only end in pain. But, I continued. Once it began, I couldn't pull away. I knew the sandwich was going to hurt me, but it was just too appealing.

Like being a fan of the Kings, you know beforehand that Arby's will end with disappointment and crushed dreams. Yet, somehow this restaurant is still in business, and the drive thru queue extended several cars. It is the line of shame, where we all know what we're getting ourselves into and no one can really look each other in the eye. Before you start defending it for its shakes or salads (really. you're going to Arby's for a salad?), think about your last horrible Arby's experience. We all have one.

Sometimes we do stupid things. We find ourselves in clearly a harmful situation. How did we get here? Haven't we learned from the past?? Stay away from Arby's. Or more specifically, Arby melts. Learn from my fallacies and choose wiser. Sometimes the most immediate or attractive option is not the best one. Would I have been much happier going somewhere with fresh food, or making something myself? Yes. Never trust an Arby's sandwich; its seemingly charming and humble exterior is custom-built to snag you and leave you in misery. You are better than that!

Never settle for a nasty Arby's sandwich again, no matter how strong its siren call may be. The same goes for Taco Time.You deserve quality and dependability.