Thursday, June 20, 2013

I Hate Murray


Unfortunately since more than 80% of my blog views come from mysterious internet sources, I can't tell you why I hate Murray as much as I do. Suffice it to say that I do. Even more than the town of Wells, Nevada. And that's saying something.

Friends, I'm trying to be optimistic, however sometimes I truly believe that the goobly-goop that gypsy yelled at me back in Alcala de Henares Spain in 2007 was actually a bona-fide gypsy curse. Here is my corollary evidence. 

1. The Salt Flats Depantsing of 2007
2. The Near Death Timpanogos Incident of 2007
3. The Near Death Lawn Mower Incident of 2008
4. The Brick Oven Stalker of 2008
5. The Tetanus Hanger Stabbing of 2008
6. The Near Death Pizza Box Crushing of 2008 
7. The ER Visit of 2008
8. The Anatomy Lab Trashcan Concussion of 2008
9. The Apartment Drama of 2009
10. The Sod Incident of 2009
11. The Near Death Lawn Mower Incident of 2009
12. The Christmas Party Dress Incident of 2009
13. The Broken Foot Incident of 2009
14. The MOA Pond Incident of 2009
15. The Swine Flu of 2009
16. The X-Country Skiing Accident of 2010
17. The Snowshoeing Incident of 2010
18. The Speeding 7 Over on the Way to a Children's Hospital Incident of 2010
19.  The Near Death Lawn Mower Incident of 2010
20. The Near Death Edger Incident of 2010
21. The Bicentennial Pond Incident of 2010
22. The "Did I Hear A Bear?!" Camping Incident of 2010
23. The Disappointing Surgery of 2010
24. The Black Eye of 2010
25. The Percocet Incident of 2010
26. The Broken Foot Incident of 2011
27. Brandon Davies and the Worst Way to End a 36 Hour Campout Incident of 2011
28. The Bike Accident of 2011
29. The Black Eye of 2011
30. The Bee Attack of 2011
31. The 4th of July Asthma Attack of 2011 
32. The Lost For 2 Hours in the Woods Camping Incident of 2011
33. The Retearing of the Knee of 2011
34. The 77 in a 75 Zone Incident of 2011 (WELLS!!!)
35. The Pre-Church Day After I Was Dumped Ice Slippage of 2012
36. The Tramadol Incident of 2012
37. The Kicked in the Face Incident of 2012
38. The Broken Foot Incident of 2012
39. The Easter ER Visit of 2012
40. The Crazy Man in SF Attack of 2012
41. The Grad School New Agey Rejection of 2012
42. The Grad School Losing My Recommendation Letters 3 Times Incident of 2012
43. The Followed Home From the Maverick Station by a Creeper Truck Incident of 2013 
44. The Car Randomly Starts Acting Ghetto Incident of 2013
45. The Broken Finger of 2013
46. The Kidney Stone of 2013
47. The "Is That a Murderer in the Garage?!" Incident of 2013
48. The Deal With a Crazy Person Incident of 2013
49. The DOPL Office Taking a Lifetime to Process My License Incident of 2013
50. The Murray is Literally Ruining My Life Incident of 2013 

EDIT: The curse isn't broken. Here's some more fun little anecdotes

51. The Unfortunately Timed Middle-of-solo-trip-across Nevada fever of 2013
52. The Freak Two Day Old Laptop Break of 2013
53. The Unfortunately timed first-week-of-grad-school Kidney Stone of 2013
54. The "make up your dang mind!" Incidents of 2013
55. The Midterm Flat Tire Incident of 2013
56. The Freak Bathroom Elbow Break of 2013
57. The Mid-Breakup-Pre-Christmas-Last-Final Parking Ticket Incident of 2013
58. The Christmas Undercooked Pork Roast Food Poisoning of 2013
Also, see thorn incident of 2014

And that's just to list a few. Draw your own conclusions, friends.